Higher Learning Series Volume Two – On Second Thought, I Better Not (2006)

1. Breakfast Blues (for Beth and Me Too)
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

White trash girl Was gettin’ plenty rude When she said, “Not mine But Hers tastes real good.”
Orchidaceous She was with her vocabulary Tell me now What’s a lady gotta’ do
Let us count All the money that we’re makin’ Before we go ahead and lose our jobs again
Let it go, get it gone and give it up up up and lah-dee-da-dee-daow yeah

Been so hard Servin’ all that breakfast Throw in the towel And have a drink or two
The classless crowd Is trying to forget us Just tell us now What’s a lady gotta’ to do
Sit back, relax All the set ups are provided We had our chance And now the day is through

Gettin’ drunk and tellin’ tales and singing songs about the breakfast blues For Beth and me too
Happy Hour Happy-Hap-Hap-Hour Happy hashing of all that once was ours And all the time they stole
And all the great control they had all over us

Should have known those drinks were strong Should have known not to bring them all along
Should have seen the double trouble brewing in that buh-buh-bubbly bong
And now we’re just engaging the throng of toilet water And gettin’ rid of all that pain
Let it go, get it gone and give it up up up and lah-dee-da-dee-daow yeah

And all the plumbing is gone gone gone Where the hell did it go?!
And why did it wait for us to get sick like this?!
Happy flushing I hope she cleaned her sheets before she went to bed that night
Hope she cleaned her sheets Hope she cleaned her sheets, I think

Nothin’ better Than that Sunday morning drone Do you think that Beth and I can go on home
We did our best to clean up our messes We did our best not to lose our jobs Come on, Sommer!
Let us go home! We deserve it!

2. Come Clean
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

You’ve got me putting on some Tori Amos tunes And you haven’t said a word
Just the slippery sound of silence And the confession of the violence
Well, I put it all together Except your point of view But I possibly don’t need it
Because I might be through with you.

Come clean, come clean – Turn on the light Let’s see, let’s see
What you’re really like What you’ve always really wanted but you couldn’t ever say it could you?
You can’t break me From where you/I stand Unless, perhaps, You’re not a friend.

Come clean, come clean Turn on the light Let’s see, let’s see What you’re really like
What you’ve always really wanted but you couldn’t ever say it could you?
You can’t break me From where you/I stand – Unless, perhaps, You’re not a friend
And you keep going on with no end in sight and you’re just like whispers in the night

You must be someone real important To be keeping this charade But I was already over it
Before the bed was made. Now we reach the point of no return, crossroads of truth
Now we figure out if I am gonna see you as a red or as a green or maybe a blue

Come clean, come clean – Turn on the light Let’s see, let’s see What you’re really like
What you’ve always really wanted but you couldn’t ever say it could you?
You can’t break me From where you/I stand, Unless, perhaps, You’re not a friend
And he said to him, “You have beautiful eyes.”

Come clean, come clean Turn on the light Let’s see, let’s see What you’re really like
What you’ve always really wanted but you couldn’t ever say it could you?
You can’t break me From where you/I stand, Unless, perhaps, You’re not a friend

3. Dragoness
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

Do you believe? In mystic things? In times of kings gone by? Trees that cry?
Winds that sigh on a full moon’s night?

In one past life, I could fly to the highest of highs in the sky, I could swim in the deepest of deep oceans
And in this light, I can only begin to describe what it’s like, To be living the life of a dragoness

I used to be So wild and free I set the streets on fire To inspire
Knights for hire in search of me and my scaly feet

In one past life, I could fly to the highest of highs in the sky, I could swim in the deepest of deep oceans
And in this light, I can only begin to describe what it’s like, To be living the life of a dragoness

Lonely days and boring nights I’d rather take a flight to far off lands
Like I used to in the good ole days when dragons were real
And you could touch and feel them … that was me …

In one past life, I could fly to the highest of highs in the sky, I could swim in the deepest of deep oceans
And in this light, I can only begin to describe what it’s like, To be living the life of a dragoness

4. Go Back to Africa
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

As a white man in a white man’s world, I’ve enjoyed a life of privilege.
As a gay man in a straight man’s world, I know all about the sacrilege of
being me and all the things that being me means. I don’t see just how a brother can stand it!
But we just try to get through our daily lives And we do the best we can just to withstand it.
One day, I met the most beautiful black man. His skin was deliciously like the color of de Nile’s black sand.
Started dating and it went from there, To a point when I became impelled
To share the news with all of my friends; Spread the word to all about my brand new man!
Then I told this guy I work with — I should have known – That his ole bitch ass wasn’t worth it!
And when I told him he got all worked up The shit began to fall from there on, And he said,
“You go back to Africa. Once you go black, We don’t want you back! And now you’re just like trash,
Like the rest of them – Those you-know-whats – Those n-i-g-g-e-r-s‘es!” And he said,
“You go back to Africa. Once you go black, We don’t want you back! And now you’re just like trash,
Like the rest of them – Those you-know-whats -Those n-i-g-g-e-r-s-‘es!”

Hay-o, comma comma come hay-o — Whatcha’ gonna’ do, Whatcha’ gonna’ do

My face fell off – I didn’t know what to say. I just didn’t understand it.
So I turned my head and I walked de other way And I didn’t reprimand him
For being who he was and all de things he said. I walked off and I started getting mad instead.
Homogeneous bastards all around me all de time! Homogeneous bastards all-around me all de time!
I thought “My man is beautiful and black! His soul contains all the things I thought I lacked!”
After steaming and thinking it thin, Couldn’t let my feelings get away from him.
I returned and I waited until His attention was mine. I waited it out to speak at just the right time
He asked me what I want. “Little black-lovin’ punk! What is it now?” he said.
“Who’s sleeping in your bed this time?” So I said,
“You go back to where ever it is — Whatever place that taught you that terrible shit!
But before you go back, I ask that you Go ahead and kiss my little, black-lovin’ white ass … fuck you!
‘Cause if they all went back to Africa We’d have no songs, no soul, no dancing like we have.
We’ve got more couth and class Than you’ll ever amass! So you just watch my back as I pass you by!”

Hay-o, comma comma come hay-o Whatcha’ gonna’ do, Whatcha’ gonna’ do

5. Highway Roadrage
Music by John Paul Sharp

6. Iz U Haught F’Me
Music by John Paul Sharp and Paul Michael Escalante
Vocals and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

Well it seems to me that you be knocking What with all the shit you’re talking
You think you got it Mix and Matchin But I see that itch your scratchin
Iz you haught f’me Iz you haught Iz you haught f’me What you got

You be so sly, you be so high. You gonna be the one I take with me tonight
We’re gonna dance so I can grab your ass to the right to the left to the right to the left
Iz you haught f’me Iz you haught Iz you haught f’me What you got
Now you’re just acting like a crazy old cat

You feel the heat in me, the heat that makes you sweat
So I gotta get it goin on so we get undressed tonight. Do you think that would be alright?
Iz you haught f’me Iz you haught Iz you haught f’me What you got

the dance don’t stop and we won’t stop until the clock say 2
We got more drinks to drink and cheek to cheek a humpety-doo-dah
But don’t drink fast cuzz I want you to last – I want you in my crib and flat on your back
Iz you haught f’me Iz you haught Iz you haught f’me What you got

7. Long, Deserved Peace
Music by John Paul Sharp
Vocals by Paul Michael Escalante, Jeffrey Alan Bennett, and John Paul Sharp

8. On Second Thought (I Better Not)
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

If I could see me when I just begin to make my mind up, Maybe I could stop myself
But then again I always wind up Making mountains out of making mountains out of mole hills.
Making mountains from on high, Way up in my palace in the sky. Like a God
Take a seat and watch Me ruin a perfectly good friendship Just by shutting off
And harboring a paranoid perspective Manifestations are practically my best friends
I see no easy resolution Other than an over the top confrontation

You’d think I had it coming – You’d think it not-so-funny – I think that I forgot
On Second Thought, I better not, On Second Thought, I better not, Ooooh,
On Second Thought, I better not
I like to play the victim – I like to think I’m bitchin’ – I think that I forgot
On Second Thought, I better not, On Second Thought, I better not, Ooooh,
On Second Thought, I better not

Can you feel the wrath, I’m getting back for no reason, By tomorrow night
I’ll see the light and feel sick to my stomach, I’ll have screwed it up again,
I’ll have lost another friend And I will do all that I can to keep moving and try to remember

You’d think I had it coming – You’d think it not-so-funny – I think that I forgot
On Second Thought, I better not, On Second Thought, I better not, Ooooh,
On Second Thought, I better not
I like to play the victim – I like to think I’m bitchin’ – I think that I forgot
On Second Thought, I better not, On Second Thought, I better not, Ooooh,
On Second Thought, I better not

9. Sensitivity is a Disability
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

I want you to know that I I’m ready to go ’cause this old world is gettin’ to me.
sensitivity seems to be a disability (ha ha ha)
I don’t understand why you think that I should close my eyes, ignore the weight of the worrisome land
I don’t understand, for that’s the day that I die (bu-bu-bye, my friend)

you think that I’ll lose my mind but I prefer to unearth my view
keep chewin’ your carbamazapine, I’ll just be quietly screaming, finding places to hide
places in another time – and so, until I get it right (la-la-la)

don’t be surprised – everything will be just fine – I’m off to Heaven’s Gate
and please don’t cry – everything will be just fine – I’m off to Heaven’s Gate

10.  Straight to Your House
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

I sure could use a break; I’ve had about as much as I can take
And I’d give anything To see you again Yes, I’d do anything, ‘Cause I’m your number one fan.
It’s you I want to apprehend Until the end of the line

If you come back to me, I promise, I won’t just throw it away, I’ll give it all that I got
For just one more shot, I got a ticket to a train that goes straight to your house

Ten thousand times I’ve gone and died, Since I reached out and you replied. I know you don’t know me
Like I now know you, With all that you’ve shown to be, Now I know what I want to do.
Calm, collected and cool, I’m on the hunt for you

If you come back to me, I promise, I won’t just throw it away, I’ll give it all that I got
For just one more shot, I got a ticket to a train that goes straight to your house
To your house, yeah, yeah, To your house
If you come back to me, I promise, I won’t just throw it away, I’ll give it all that I got
For just one more shot, I got a ticket to a train that goes straight to your house

11. The Trouble with Me
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

If you could stay awhile with me, I’d appreciate it, ‘Cause I’ve been feeling kinda’ down
The trouble with me, you see, Is that all the time I spent alone,
I spent it thinking that no one would ever love me. And the trouble with that is clearly
that I nearly can’t relax or get the feeling that I may be loved so true, what to do.

I’m so afraid of all the pain, I don’t think I can bare it, I’m so afraid that you’re just fake
The trouble with me, you see, Is that all the time I spent alone,
I spent it thinking that no one would ever love me. For now, I’ll just close my eyes
Hold your hand in mine And hope for the best,

You can’t ask for much more than that. You can’t ask for much more than that

When things are getting really good, I just want to forget it, And move on with my lonely life
The trouble with me, you see,, Is that all the time I spent alone,
I spent it thinking that no one would ever love me. This is the last and final time
That I’m gonna’ say it: I think I’m falling for a guy.

12. What God Intended
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

I was chillin’ in my little haze, then this lady went and then she came
and she said, “What ya’ doin’ in that little nook? Whatcha’ doin’ with that little book?”
and I said “Gettin’ fucked up on philosophy. I’m gonna’ figure out the mystery,
the magical form of mind over matter, where nothing really happens anymore.”

And she said, “You don’t need a book to give you that and I’m as sure of that as sure as I shat this morning.
Let us break the wind and try to relax! Don’t give in to all those high class acts and notions!
What you want is how you get your kicks. Without your kicks your life ain’t worth a shit
and we, as humans, are allowed to heal, and we were born to touch and feel.”

So then she kissed my face; made it tickle. I felt so out of place; in a pickle.
“This is what God intended – gave us wounds so we would tend them.”
That’s what she said and then she belched. (Whew! I mean – Ugh!)

6 a.m. alarm is ringing at last, Time I spent to dream I spent too fast, my friend.
I realize the time and get my ass in gear and figure out a way to pass the test.
My old thinking might have gotten the best – yes – my old Dream King might have gotten the best of
me and Mary, Mary and I … ! … but I’m not like this all the time.

13. Zephyr
Music and Lyrics by John Paul Sharp

Word out on the street is Goodbye Today is Better than tomorrow Goodbye
I’ll see ya Some other time Perhaps when summer’s gone, I’ll be back with bells
On, On with the show You know We’ve tried to Climb out of these windows Before
The sun is setting so low, The Zephyr blows and blows Calling me to the Western horizon
Goodbye, It sounds like La, la, la dee dah, Goodbye, The light will fade once again
Perhaps when summer’s gone I’ll be there with bells On la, la dee dah, Hmmmm, La, la, dee, dah, Hmmmm

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